06-20-2015, 09:04 AM
Hey Todd-
Upon looking up the Leidenfrost Effect I think you may be too attracted by the musicality of the term. It does sound really cool.
I don't know of too many people who will know what to make of that title without looking it up. That's asking a lot before a reader even starts the poem.
Perhaps there are words within the definition that could be useful.
I know better than to flat out suggest a title (which is really my way of saying, "heck, I don't know").
Since I have not gone through the progression of comments/revisions, my fresh eyes may be helpful.
Perhaps later, as I'm too distracted right now by the NATS vs PIRATES game, and my fragmented attention will not provide anything worthwhile.
Til then, thanks for the brilliant read on my first time through. I really appreciate the subdued, disconnected feel of the language in this piece in relation to its subject matter.
,,, Mark Becker
Upon looking up the Leidenfrost Effect I think you may be too attracted by the musicality of the term. It does sound really cool.
I don't know of too many people who will know what to make of that title without looking it up. That's asking a lot before a reader even starts the poem.
Perhaps there are words within the definition that could be useful.
I know better than to flat out suggest a title (which is really my way of saying, "heck, I don't know").
Since I have not gone through the progression of comments/revisions, my fresh eyes may be helpful.
Perhaps later, as I'm too distracted right now by the NATS vs PIRATES game, and my fragmented attention will not provide anything worthwhile.
Til then, thanks for the brilliant read on my first time through. I really appreciate the subdued, disconnected feel of the language in this piece in relation to its subject matter.
,,, Mark Becker