Out My Window
#8
(06-20-2015, 08:52 AM)Todd Wrote:  I got the wheelchair with no problem. I also took flirting as a sign of youthfullness, but when coupled with ancient it seems to be more focused on age than on loss of mobility. I didn't get the sense he hated the tree.

Just adding to the feedback. it reads more whistful than despondent.
yes.  I didn't really want hateful, more wistful so that is good.  The focus on age shows that i definitely have a problem with "ancient"
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Messages In This Thread
Out My Window - by milo - 06-19-2015, 01:15 PM
RE: Out My Window - by Magpie - 06-19-2015, 02:07 PM
RE: Out My Window - by milo - 06-19-2015, 02:34 PM
RE: Out My Window - by billy - 06-19-2015, 05:00 PM
RE: Out My Window - by milo - 06-20-2015, 05:49 AM
RE: Out My Window - by Todd - 06-20-2015, 12:43 AM
RE: Out My Window - by Todd - 06-20-2015, 08:52 AM
RE: Out My Window - by milo - 06-20-2015, 08:57 AM
RE: Out My Window - by Magpie - 06-22-2015, 12:17 PM
RE: Out My Window - by milo - 06-22-2015, 01:07 PM



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