vision caused by an impending lover

[FindingJune]

I hate the title, but until I have something else....


I’ve become too narrow.
Autumn still aches in my rib cage. Nowhere near dying,
just the illusion of it as peonies bloom in my palm.
Pink, always pink like the first time you saw me,
there is no room here for breathing.

I’ve dissected you.
A thousand tiny white bones. By morning, I’d renamed them all
and assembled them at the back of my throat
so I wouldn’t forget how you sound,
the glossy humming of bees.

I’ve folded you open.
A museum of intricate disasters. All wound and shame
that you cleansed me of. A christening of hands,
and forgiveness that I can believe,
in this heat I am something holy.

I’ve taken your eyes.
Brilliant satellites. Burning without resistance,
orbiting above me, so I can dream
in a place where the shadows can’t reach,
the darkness no longer hypothesis.

I’ve rendered you down.
Forgotten what I know about love. An articulation
that has become foreign. I open my mouth to speak,
a million drumming wings swarm,
escaping from the catch in my throat.