06-18-2015, 11:33 PM
I really enjoy the idea you have here. However, being an imagery junkie, I wish it had more. You repeat several words like "past", "speak", and "they", I would tweak those a bit. In such a short piece, the repetition of those just make it feel bland.
"Bees do have a smell, you know, and if they don't they should, for their feet are dusted with spices from a million flowers." -Bradbury

