06-15-2015, 09:46 AM
Thanks for your critique! I was thinking of "channels" instead of chasms, the poems sort of about learning to flow anyway, haha. I think that's more original, maybe. I really like the change of dropping the "the" and "what" and "humanity"! Ill post a revision of this one soon, thanks again.
I relish writing bad poems, if it means someday I'll write a good one.

