Heels

[ellajam]

This has been a rough one for me. I like the play on heels, shoes and users, but the narrator holds as much interest for me as those TV celeb shows, none. I may be missing something, but I am missing it repeatedly, at the end I don't come out with much. Here are some notes.

Heels
 
After four days of teetering around on stilettos
draped in furs and diamonds
going to all the most glamorous events and parties,
rubbing elbows with A-listers These four lines set the scene nicely with a pleasant lilt.
she didn't want to look at the foot the foot is fun but the stop is awkward after the consistency of the opening.
of the bed when she awoke
fearful she would find a crime scene.
She didn't dare try to stand by herself. These lines are a good description of the end of a bender but I don't really care.
Where was that damn man
when you needed him
he'd certainly used her enough
(not that you could tell). This line says alot.
She couldn't get to her purse
where she kept her pain relievers 
and there was no damn alcohol at hand…
possibly room service
would get her the help she needed:
show some skin, hint at a promise.
She'd do anything for relief,
but no more damn heels.  I like this line, it sums up well, the lines above bore me.

I read the critiques as they were posted but not since, I know others saw plenty more in this, I just can't get past the surface. With most of the center cut I think it could be a witty turn, if it's more than that it is beyond me.
 
 
Erthona
 
©2015