06-14-2015, 06:19 AM
(06-01-2015, 12:10 AM)Alexearth Wrote:Greeting Alexearth:The constant chattering from the backyards,
the sidewalks,
and the alleyways
grows tentatively along the day,
reaches climax before sunset,
and dies
into the somber evening.
I really enjoyed the uniqueness of this poem.It's very straightforward and written well. although may I make a small suggestion? I believe the ending would sound a lot less final if instead of saying, "and dies into a somber evening" you could say: and recedes into a somber evening. because in knowing that on the morrow it returns to the noisy existence. whatcha think? An overall great poem.


