Life of a day
#17
(06-01-2015, 12:10 AM)Alexearth Wrote:  
The constant chattering from the backyards, 
the sidewalks, 
and the alleyways
grows tentatively along the day,
reaches climax before sunset, 
and dies
into the somber evening.
Greeting Alexearth:
I really enjoyed the uniqueness of this poem.It's very straightforward and written well. although may I make a small suggestion? I believe the ending would sound a lot less final if instead of saying, "and dies into a somber evening" you could say: and recedes into a somber evening. because in knowing that on the morrow it returns to the noisy existence. whatcha think? An overall great poem.
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Messages In This Thread
Life of a day - by Alexearth - 06-01-2015, 12:10 AM
RE: Life of a day - by Rederex - 06-01-2015, 05:34 PM
RE: Life of a day - by Alexearth - 06-05-2015, 11:59 PM
RE: Life of a day - by DivineMsEmm - 06-06-2015, 04:24 AM
RE: Life of a day - by reppindetroit - 06-04-2015, 08:05 AM
RE: Life of a day - by DivineMsEmm - 06-05-2015, 08:44 AM
RE: Life of a day - by Mr. Creosote - 06-09-2015, 03:45 AM
RE: Life of a day - by Alexearth - 06-09-2015, 05:24 PM
RE: Life of a day - by Mr. Creosote - 06-10-2015, 12:23 AM
RE: Life of a day - by Magpie - 06-09-2015, 05:51 PM
RE: Life of a day - by Alexearth - 06-09-2015, 06:02 PM
RE: Life of a day - by billy - 06-09-2015, 06:18 PM
RE: Life of a day - by Alexearth - 06-09-2015, 09:31 PM
RE: Life of a day - by Magpie - 06-10-2015, 12:19 AM
RE: Life of a day - by Alexearth - 06-12-2015, 07:45 PM
RE: Life of a day - by Magpie - 06-12-2015, 10:33 PM
RE: Life of a day - by Forestdawn - 06-14-2015, 06:19 AM



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