06-14-2015, 12:02 AM
Maybe I'm being dense--but I'm having a hard time "getting" this piece.
My takeaway is that the subject is pleased to not be like someone s/he abhors (someone that maybe the subject is expected to be like? Such as a mother or sibling?).
I'll just comment on one global concern.
The punctuation/capitalization drove me bonkers because I can't make sense of it, lol. The first stanza as a sentence makes sense. But then there isn't another period for two more stanzas, and grammatically that doesn't work. Later there's a phrase "irritating busy body" ended by a period, which also isn't gramatically accurate. I spent a lot of time during my reading trying to figure out the significance of the punctuation and re-reading sections trying to make then fit.
My reading experience would improve with more consistent punctuation or no punctuation.
My takeaway is that the subject is pleased to not be like someone s/he abhors (someone that maybe the subject is expected to be like? Such as a mother or sibling?).
I'll just comment on one global concern.
The punctuation/capitalization drove me bonkers because I can't make sense of it, lol. The first stanza as a sentence makes sense. But then there isn't another period for two more stanzas, and grammatically that doesn't work. Later there's a phrase "irritating busy body" ended by a period, which also isn't gramatically accurate. I spent a lot of time during my reading trying to figure out the significance of the punctuation and re-reading sections trying to make then fit.
My reading experience would improve with more consistent punctuation or no punctuation.