06-13-2015, 03:50 AM
Thanks for your reading and sharing your thoughts everyone. I've made an edit based on your critiques, and think it's a little "tighter" now.
I originally had covalesence in place of entanglement, but apparently it's not a "real" word so I decided to use entanglement, even though I did think covalesence was better. I've changed it back though, as I think most people would understand what it means.
Oh, and the specificity of the plants was for no particular reason, I just put them there as those plants actually were in a garden in my back yard (the only part of the poem that's "true").
I originally had covalesence in place of entanglement, but apparently it's not a "real" word so I decided to use entanglement, even though I did think covalesence was better. I've changed it back though, as I think most people would understand what it means.
Oh, and the specificity of the plants was for no particular reason, I just put them there as those plants actually were in a garden in my back yard (the only part of the poem that's "true").