Life of a day

[Alexearth]

i think you could cut the first three [the's]
the last line weakens what could be a strong end.
for a short poem it gives more than i thought it would after the first read. needs a small edit but i still enjoyed it's chatter.

The constant chattering from the backyards, 
the sidewalks, 
and the alleyways
grows tentatively along the day, i want along to work but i'm left wondering if there's a better word to use
reaches climax before sunset, 
and dies
into the somber evening.

Thanks for the feedback Billy,
I like the idea of death being weakened by the last line, a slow,gentle death in a way, a melancholic one. What do you think?
For the replacement of "along", Mark proposed "throughout", any other suggestion?


Alex

---

Here's a preliminary rework of the poem:


The incessant chattering from backyards, 

sidewalks, 
and alleyways
grows tentatively along the day,
reaches climax before sunset, 
and dies
into the somber evening.