Life of a day

[Alexearth]

You've got some good possibilities going on in this short poem, I've left some possible suggestions that I think may help with the main point being to make it more concise.

The constant chattering from the backyards, 
the sidewalks, 
and the alleyways ---- In these first three lines you could really drop all the articles 'the's' and you don't lose anything, you could also have "sidewalks and alleyways" on one line
grows tentatively along the day, ---- 'tentatively' doesn't seem like the right word here for the 'constant chattering' or the metaphor that it represents --- Also 'along the day' seems awkward could it perhaps be 'throughout the day' 
reaches climax before sunset, 
and dies
into the somber evening. ---- Can something 'die into' something??? Perhaps just 'in the somber evening' 

Considering that you've got it all as one sentence that is on the verge of being a touch too long, I think some of the streamlining will get it to a perfect length.

Cheers for the read,

Mark

Hey Mark,

nice feedback, thanks a lot. I'll post a rework of the poem shortly.
Nice day to you all!


Alex