That terrible day.

[poppoetry]

Thanks for that, I like your changes to the first stanza and will incorporate these, I'll also move that comma as suggested, the poem is far from the finished article but the last 3 stanzas develop the tale
to deliver the bad news so I'll work a bit more on those and I'm grateful for the input, again I'm delighted with the critique and it's great to have your work pulled apart like this.

Thanks

poppoetry