That terrible day.

[ellajam]

Hi, Pop, for me, the poem starts with a clear, effective image, but nothing after the first eight lines seems to add anything. Some notes are below.

A recent poem I wrote, I hope it makes sense as to what's going on in this poem as perhaps that's what this poem is really about, taking the reader to the concluding stanza with a curiosity that's never really satisfied or have I completely missed that, thanks for any critique,  


That terrible day.

Putting his glass back on the shelf,
Shaking Hand, tears run down.
She's done it a thousand times before.
Today is so different, it's just a glass.
At first I thought he was putting his own glass back. Using "She puts" would clear this up, with run changed to running.
I'd prefer a lower case "shaking".
Today, it's not just a glass, it is still his, he just can't use it, I think this can be improved.


Cars outside still passing by,
Drivers unaware of the pain inside.
Frozen with fear of seeing any more,
Items of his, everywhere she goes.
I prefer "pass"to "passing".
You could lose the comma after more and have a nice enjambment.
For me the capitalization of each line, here drivers and items, confused the read.

Their house is the same as all the years.
Time they spent building a life & dreams.
Good times and bad, many happy and full.
He was an honest man, a good man all told.

Today the same house holds pain.
yesterday like before, all was well.
The usual struggle to pay the bills,
It was an unusual time for the doorbell to ring.

Standing there, her best friend Lil.
Police car outside, time stood still.
They both know this is a terrible day,
It can't be true, please don't say.

Someone else may see more in the rest than I could, I hope the notes help.