06-06-2015, 05:11 AM
(06-05-2015, 07:56 AM)kingmicahde Wrote: I don't do this I said,Nice poem and engages the reader, writer is being used and resigned to it, feels like the writer wants to connect with the reader through the verse!, nice poem and a great read!, well done.
As he pulled my dress over my head.
This isn't me I sighed,
Before he stuck his tongue inside.
Softly, slowly he kissed me,
As if my mouth was the only place to be.
I don't even know you I fretted, (you, I fretted)
As certain parts of me wetted.
I decided to make an exception,
As I timorously stroked his erection.
I will regret this when we are finished,
With my dignity diminished.
Later, I'll tend to my self esteem.
For now, thanks for making me scream.
Alisha Bourland
"Nice" try at crit but please try to restrict comments to the poem and its technicalities. The writer, whoever it is in this case, wants constructive feedback...as would you. Nice is not a nice word. Mod.

