Life of a day

[Alexearth]

Hi,
I love the simplicity of your writting,  saying as much as you can with as little as you can. Just a couple of things I would draw your attention to, you use the word 'constant' in the opening line and 'grows' in the fourth, I thought it was a little bit strange to have something constant grow. Just check your definitions,  something which is constant is quantitatively fixed. Other than that...superb!

 Rederex, nice noticing the misuse of constant. I thank you for that! Thanks for the feedback!

I think this piece is brilliant in its simplicity - however I think the last line is unnecessary. 
The day reaches a climax and dies... BANG... BOOM.  Adding "into the somber evening" almost insults the death of the day.
If you're looking for the WOW factor - the piece ends at "and dies."     

I think the title works, even though it is a bit bland for the strength of the poem - there is such meat in the poem, so much meaning in such a short piece - you want a title that can stand up to the work.  

Nice job.
--Emily

Interesting what you are saying here Emily, I was more visualizing the end of the day as a slow death, fading into the dark red and blue of the evening, followed by the silence, a peaceful yet melancholic day.
Thanks for the feedback!

Alex