06-05-2015, 04:43 AM
Interesting....I'm intrigued by the story you're trying to tell.
1. Last line....separate them into 2.
2. "The wick...almost gone" stanza: what are you trying to say? It isn't clear to me.
Other than that, this was a very interesting read. Your point is made clear effortlessly....reads like a narrative, but your meter pulls it together into a lovely piece of poetry. Good job!
1. Last line....separate them into 2.
2. "The wick...almost gone" stanza: what are you trying to say? It isn't clear to me.
Other than that, this was a very interesting read. Your point is made clear effortlessly....reads like a narrative, but your meter pulls it together into a lovely piece of poetry. Good job!