Global Ignition
#9
(05-13-2015, 03:03 AM)Jae Mc Donnell Wrote:  Slowly, slowly, catchy monkey!
He catches fire, the house burns down
And in his wake left, ash, disaster,
andĀ smouldering lips on still laughing clowns

So why not move in?
It's a room with a view,
of the end.
No need to rent.
Just buy, buy buy.
It's ours to sell,
Right!?
I've read a few poems before I hit on this one and it's by far one of the best I've read, even before I read other comments I liked it, only critique would be to change 'in his wake' to 'in its wake', as in the house burned down not the monkey, I'd be proud of that one ok!, it stands out
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Messages In This Thread
Global Ignition - by Jae Mc Donnell - 05-13-2015, 03:03 AM
RE: Global Ignition - by Todd - 05-13-2015, 03:43 AM
RE: Global Ignition - by Jae Mc Donnell - 05-13-2015, 03:47 AM
RE: Global Ignition - by Jae Mc Donnell - 05-19-2015, 02:17 AM
RE: Global Ignition - by tectak - 05-13-2015, 06:11 PM
RE: Global Ignition - by mkat - 05-14-2015, 10:31 AM
RE: Global Ignition - by Erthona - 05-17-2015, 07:24 AM
RE: Global Ignition - by tectak - 05-17-2015, 05:41 PM
RE: Global Ignition - by poppoetry - 06-05-2015, 01:25 AM



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