06-05-2015, 01:25 AM
(05-13-2015, 03:03 AM)Jae Mc Donnell Wrote: Slowly, slowly, catchy monkey!I've read a few poems before I hit on this one and it's by far one of the best I've read, even before I read other comments I liked it, only critique would be to change 'in his wake' to 'in its wake', as in the house burned down not the monkey, I'd be proud of that one ok!, it stands out
He catches fire, the house burns down
And in his wake left, ash, disaster,
andĀ smouldering lips on still laughing clowns
So why not move in?
It's a room with a view,
of the end.
No need to rent.
Just buy, buy buy.
It's ours to sell,
Right!?

