06-04-2015, 10:05 AM
Please let me just say this is my first review and I am nervous as hell to not sound rude just objective.
I enjoy the words that describe motion, even a little hindered. "creaking and creeping" like the shadow would move but is frozen stiff. As for line four it leaves me with a lack of information as to why time has failed him. Still the end is contemplative and final. The beginning feels created and the end is built, I would like to have a broader view of the subject in the body of the poem.
Thanks for letting me give my input
I enjoy the words that describe motion, even a little hindered. "creaking and creeping" like the shadow would move but is frozen stiff. As for line four it leaves me with a lack of information as to why time has failed him. Still the end is contemplative and final. The beginning feels created and the end is built, I would like to have a broader view of the subject in the body of the poem.
Thanks for letting me give my input