06-02-2015, 09:09 AM
i approved this post because it is reasonable feedback.
however; in serious we hope to get a more in depth kind of critique. for a while try your hand in the novice or mild where a little goes a long way./mod
Dear Billy,
It was a loverly read. Not sure if it was intentional but the last staza has me (a reader) pleasantly perplexed, or unsure. I had the feeling he (or she
) was not going to be able to return to a relationship (some wrong doing)...yet the last line "destroy my sin" says the opposite (she forgives). If this is correct there is no problem with ambiguity, if not, consider changing the implied forgiveness of sin.
however; in serious we hope to get a more in depth kind of critique. for a while try your hand in the novice or mild where a little goes a long way./mod
Dear Billy,
It was a loverly read. Not sure if it was intentional but the last staza has me (a reader) pleasantly perplexed, or unsure. I had the feeling he (or she
) was not going to be able to return to a relationship (some wrong doing)...yet the last line "destroy my sin" says the opposite (she forgives). If this is correct there is no problem with ambiguity, if not, consider changing the implied forgiveness of sin.