05-28-2015, 05:58 AM
Almost involuntarily, I started reading this as a monologue by Rose from James Cameron's Titanic as she floats on the raft near the end of the film
Seriously, though, though the poem lacks enough texture to be truly memorable (some more precise, original imagery would help), it rolls off the tongue very nicely and shows you have an understanding of rhyme and rhythm. It reminds me a bit of "Not Waving But Drowning" by Stevie Smith: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/learning/poem/175778
Seriously, though, though the poem lacks enough texture to be truly memorable (some more precise, original imagery would help), it rolls off the tongue very nicely and shows you have an understanding of rhyme and rhythm. It reminds me a bit of "Not Waving But Drowning" by Stevie Smith: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/learning/poem/175778
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe