05-27-2015, 08:53 PM
I lay defeated on rotted wood
deep ocean all around me.
I would escape here if I could, (I first read this line as "I would escape to the rotted wood if I could", so maybe it needs a "from", e.g:
"I'd escape from here if I could")
but the only way is drowning.
Oh, take me to a better day, (Stanza 1 is a bad day)
take me to a dryer place.
Please, please, oh please just stay. (In this line, a suggestion is to replace a "please" with the name of who has met you on the rotted wood in the deep ocean)
Wreck my sorrow, restore my grace.
Hi i.m,
Thank you for this poem, inspired by the short story you wrote in response to Macklemore Otherside. Id like to read the short story. The poem I love. It is powerful. G.
deep ocean all around me.
I would escape here if I could, (I first read this line as "I would escape to the rotted wood if I could", so maybe it needs a "from", e.g:
"I'd escape from here if I could")
but the only way is drowning.
Oh, take me to a better day, (Stanza 1 is a bad day)
take me to a dryer place.
Please, please, oh please just stay. (In this line, a suggestion is to replace a "please" with the name of who has met you on the rotted wood in the deep ocean)
Wreck my sorrow, restore my grace.
Hi i.m,
Thank you for this poem, inspired by the short story you wrote in response to Macklemore Otherside. Id like to read the short story. The poem I love. It is powerful. G.