Potter's Wheel

[cjchaffin]

Potter's Wheel

What fool would leave creation up to me,
to force my thumbs and palms across the palette?
If the golem wavers in the make
I'll choose the mallet,
pound the crumble, sweep away the scree
then spatula and slurry, slake
the wheel, then spatula again and nothing grips.

There is a marvel in the roll of blunger drips -
Whose hand formed these oily hills and what's beneath?
I could try again or take a break
or taste the clay dust on my teeth.

hi milo,

there's a lot to like here: great visuals, nice alliteration and rhymes for the most part, a thought-provoking premise, and impeccable word choice.

i did struggle a bit with the second and third lines of the first strophe; when read aloud they left me a little mush-mouthed and immediately slowed the pace that's set by the first line (which is a fantastic opening!), and then the awkward bluntness of "if" to start line 3...i really wanted to carry the lilt of line one straight on through. i'm not sure how you would remedy that without major alterations though, and maybe it's just me and the way i'm reading it (and i read it several times out loud to see if the tone would change. it didn't, not for me anyway).

i also don't particularly like the repeat of "or" in lines three and four of the second strophe, but that's a really minor nit and i hate even mentioning it.

again, minor nits here. on the whole, a wonderful poem. thanks for sharing.