Heels

[tectak]

Heels
 
After four days of teetering around on stilettos
draped in furs and diamonds
going to all the most glamorous events and parties,
rubbing elbows with A-listers
she didn't want to look at the foot
of the bed when she awoke
fearful she would find a crime scene.
She didn't dare try to stand by herself.
Where was that damn man
when you needed him
he'd certainly used her enough
(not that you could tell).
She couldn't get to her purse
where she kept her pain relievers 
and there was no damn alcohol at hand…
possibly room service
would get her the help she needed:
show some skin, hint at a promise.
She'd do anything for relief,
but no more damn heels.  
 
 
Erthona
 
©2015

Hi Dale,
No, you do not always need to punctuate to perfection. Sometimes the first person characterisation is so strong that the third person narration is always going to come second in import. Still, there are images which teeter but do not fall. Like stilettos draped in furs
I can enjoy well described mundanity as much as the next man but I worry often that I miss something due to late onset autism...according to my wife.
I guess the dame just needs heel-balm. See, I'm shallow like that.
Overall, yes to this but it will be a hard act to follow...unless you can drag it out (pun) in to first person. Now that would be fun.
Of course, to square the circle...you do not always need to punctuate to perfection. After all, nobody's perfect.
Best,
tectak