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Golden Apples edit 2

Golden Apples edit 2
RiverNotch Offline
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#5
05-22-2015, 02:15 AM
Second edit -- just a bit of tweaking with the line breaks. The short ones are just too short, I think, messing up the reading somehow. Also removed that exclamation point at the end -- I think it makes everything sound a bit too comic.
[Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Qgwfm9NUY8]
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Messages In This Thread
Golden Apples edit 2 - by RiverNotch - 05-16-2015, 03:40 PM
RE: Golden Apples - by rayheinrich - 05-16-2015, 10:51 PM
RE: Golden Apples - by Brownlie - 05-18-2015, 12:26 AM
RE: Golden Apples - by RiverNotch - 05-18-2015, 03:31 AM
RE: Golden Apples edit 1 - by RiverNotch - 05-22-2015, 02:15 AM
RE: Golden Apples edit 2 - by tectak - 05-23-2015, 08:34 AM
RE: Golden Apples edit 2 - by RiverNotch - 05-23-2015, 01:59 PM
RE: Golden Apples edit 2 - by tectak - 05-23-2015, 03:44 PM
RE: Golden Apples edit 2 - by RiverNotch - 05-25-2015, 10:04 PM
RE: Golden Apples edit 2 - by tectak - 05-25-2015, 11:12 PM
RE: Golden Apples edit 2 - by billy - 05-26-2015, 08:23 AM



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