For Her

[billy]

hi Ht

caps, it's a choice. it's often mentioned in feedback because it can affect how one reads a poem, i usually give a pause normally given with a period. but it is a personal choice.

the poem in general gives me too much and not enough. the last lines point to love yet the the main body of the poem feels like it's pointing to fear or/and struggle while i like the words in mid poem i'm not sure what they mean. the she i see as nature/the universe or something bigger than can be imagined.

She is the Starry Twins, called Gemini, i like the line, she is the universe, she is whatever you want her to be, in this instance part of she is the twins of said name. while it's ambiguous, i found not overly too ambiguous to think it a good opening line.
That shine, are gazed upon:
The human eyes are fixed on them.
Should I pronounce the traits
Inherent in the Gothic gates-
The gargoyles perch and stare
With crimson, bloodshot eyes-
Behind which is a beating Heart,
A bloody, scarlet, living Heart?
Its veins draw from the heav’ns; why not heavens?
Its arteries imbue with life
And purpose this brown sphere,i get a feel the poem is connected to final fantasy [the spirits within] if this is the case it needs a bit more of a connection to it, something direct for those who haven't seen it, if not then i'm a little lost as my brain is fixed to this focal point
This ugly mass of dirt,
This egg-shaped rock of perfect imperfections.
It feels the burden of
A thousand watching, stony stares.
Like Gaia, sucked of soma-life
By suckling wolves of its creation.
Why live the life of she who feeds?
Unwise it was of Gaia, that Eternal Healer-
Better are loyal dogs in supplication
Than leeches, born for blood.
The Mother suffers for her sin.
The Heart is siphoned of its life.
The Stars are pinned on coal-black slate
And gazed at,
Scrutinized,
And used.
Perhaps love is a zero-sum game.
Or at least the nature of the hounds necessitates:
She who loves, and bares her heart
Gambles.