05-20-2015, 02:24 AM
Paul,
I see no reason for the lack of caps. This is a shot poem not a Japanese bastard poem.
I like the "any" suggestion.
As this is in a matter of fact style, I would put
"Well...some friends you can."
for the last line. But then again, I am probably inclined to use that sort of device too much. It just seems it could use a pause at that point. Your poem.
I also like the idea of one o'clock, but that would make it too late, wouldn't it?
Dale
I see no reason for the lack of caps. This is a shot poem not a Japanese bastard poem.
I like the "any" suggestion.
As this is in a matter of fact style, I would put
"Well...some friends you can."
for the last line. But then again, I am probably inclined to use that sort of device too much. It just seems it could use a pause at that point. Your poem.
I also like the idea of one o'clock, but that would make it too late, wouldn't it?
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.