Can I PLease Love You?

[billy]

i really like the poem apart from the last line which i thought was very weak. i'm not great with punctuation but wonder whether quotation marks could be used to add some effect to the narrative. "this is normal" "this is not normal" the first line holds the reader and with a good original line. the 'you got a tattoo' line kept the latter part of the poem alive. it worked on at least two levels for me, it showed jealousy and to some extent pain.

You came to class drunk.
I know we aren’t speaking,
but you were, are, my
First. could [are my first love] better stated, though it's a cliche i think it works, i think it could work better in a different layout
ie
Are
my first

I want to know what is wrong but...
she tells me this is normal. is this the correct tense? would told be the right way to say it?

This is not normal. i like how you emphasise by use if line spacing

You got a tattoo yesterday…I’m worried.
You said you were past it, but is anyone really past it? is [but] needed would [is anyone really past it] look better on its own line
I’m not.
You said you didn’t like me,
like that,
but I like you, like that. why is [like that] on it own line above yet here it isn't?
Can’t I still be worried? Can’t I still love you? for me it reads better as two lines. for me this is also where the poem ends. the next line feels too much
Will you ever let someone love you?