05-18-2015, 10:13 AM
I thought this was pretty good except for some of the lineation and punctuation like:
"but you were, are, my
First."
Just a little too over the top, way too cheesy. But overall this has some freshness on something that has been well over-covered. It makes it almost new.
The last line completely ruins what otherwise could be a nice poem. It is everything the rest of this poem is not. Off with its head!
Dale
"but you were, are, my
First."
Just a little too over the top, way too cheesy. But overall this has some freshness on something that has been well over-covered. It makes it almost new.
The last line completely ruins what otherwise could be a nice poem. It is everything the rest of this poem is not. Off with its head!
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.