Revision 3
The future is unwhispered
cranes, the origami language
of gingham-skirted oracles.
Just as a map cannot create a road
a clock cannot create time.
The horizon lies beyond
the vanishing point of steps.
To escape, you can only breathe
in the blue of the sky,
unfold in aerodynamic lines
and fly
~~~
Edit: milo, just some great editing suggestions on the whole. Thank you
Revision 2A (Alternate Choice)
The future is not whispered
cranes in the origami language
of gingham-skirted oracles.
A map cannot create a road,
nor a clock create time.
The horizon is always beyond
the vanishing point of steps.
To escape, you can only breathe
in the blue of the sky,
unfold in aerodynamic lines
and fly
~~~
Another possible path I am considering
Revision 2
Oracles would control the future
with their origami language of cranes.
They fold the horizon
like a map, and you might believe
that maps create roads, or clocks time.
To escape, you must find
the vanishing point of steps;
you can only breathe
in the blue of the sky,
unfold in aerodynamic lines
and fly
~~~
Edit 2: RN, you have a good eye. I think your suggested changes are an enhancement. I made one other change in S2. I especially liked the comma you suggested after escape. Let's hope this version has shed its gimmicks. It's like your poem is infected with lice.
Revision
The oracles would control the future
with their origami language of cranes.
They would fold the horizon
like a map, and you might believe
that maps create roads,
or clocks time.
To escape you must find
the vanishing point of steps.
You can only breathe
in the blue of the sky,
unfold in aerodynamic lines
and fly.
~~~
Original
The future is not unmoving
cranes in the secret
origami language
of gingham skirted oracles.
It is also not to be found
in gray brick, or frozen
clocks.
The horizon cannot be pressed
into so small a square
to escape you can only breathe
in the blue of the sky,
unfold in aerodynamic lines
and fly.
The future is unwhispered
cranes, the origami language
of gingham-skirted oracles.
Just as a map cannot create a road
a clock cannot create time.
The horizon lies beyond
the vanishing point of steps.
To escape, you can only breathe
in the blue of the sky,
unfold in aerodynamic lines
and fly
~~~
Edit: milo, just some great editing suggestions on the whole. Thank you
Revision 2A (Alternate Choice)
The future is not whispered
cranes in the origami language
of gingham-skirted oracles.
A map cannot create a road,
nor a clock create time.
The horizon is always beyond
the vanishing point of steps.
To escape, you can only breathe
in the blue of the sky,
unfold in aerodynamic lines
and fly
~~~
Another possible path I am considering
Revision 2
Oracles would control the future
with their origami language of cranes.
They fold the horizon
like a map, and you might believe
that maps create roads, or clocks time.
To escape, you must find
the vanishing point of steps;
you can only breathe
in the blue of the sky,
unfold in aerodynamic lines
and fly
~~~
Edit 2: RN, you have a good eye. I think your suggested changes are an enhancement. I made one other change in S2. I especially liked the comma you suggested after escape. Let's hope this version has shed its gimmicks. It's like your poem is infected with lice.
Revision
The oracles would control the future
with their origami language of cranes.
They would fold the horizon
like a map, and you might believe
that maps create roads,
or clocks time.
To escape you must find
the vanishing point of steps.
You can only breathe
in the blue of the sky,
unfold in aerodynamic lines
and fly.
~~~
Original
The future is not unmoving
cranes in the secret
origami language
of gingham skirted oracles.
It is also not to be found
in gray brick, or frozen
clocks.
The horizon cannot be pressed
into so small a square
to escape you can only breathe
in the blue of the sky,
unfold in aerodynamic lines
and fly.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson