Americee Nonsense

[Magpie]

Hi Billy,

I'm really liking this and it is obviously very funny. I'm kind of struggling to come up with a serious amount of critique but I have got a few points, I just hope it's enough considering it is in 'Serious'.

Americee Nonsense

I know I'll never write Americee;
to use, to build a sort of Shakespeare dish
I'd rather not a Yankee Speller be.  ---- I notice that throughout after the word Yankee you sometimes capitalised Speller or Spelling and although I've looked I can't seem to find a reason for this.

Their silly bastard words don't work for me
nor  syntax in a modern way; 'tis pish. ---- I really like the use of 'pish' here even though I've just realised it's an actual word, I thought it was slang. I still feels as though it has the feel of a slang British word which sets up a contrast between Americee and Ing-earl-ish.
I said I'd never write Americee.

With ink and quill to pen, it's plain to see
my words do swim like water is to fish  ---- I'm not so sure that this is working here, it feels a bit forced for the sake of the rhyme. Also because you've got the majority of the 'ish' lines as either slang or 'altered' English words then I was thinking it could be a possible idea to have them all like that. It means you would lose the "Shakespeare dish" which I like but you could change that line so it ends in Shakespeare-ish so you've still got the reference. Possibilities for the other lines could be 'suspish' or 'mish', it's just a thought for a continuity throughout.
but what the fuck's a Yankee spelling bee. --- Should there be a question mark at the end of this line?

A lean-to with a  roof is not a lee,
an elevator's lift in  Ing-earl-ish
I know, I'll never write Americee.

To call 'the sidewalk' path I do decree,
caused me to drop my scone , it looked delish --- With this line I'm presuming that the 'scone' reference is there because of the difference in pronunciation. In which case it doesn't work as well as the others which are about the fact that the words are totally different. You could have something to do with chips and fries in this line which you could use to fit in with 'delish'
I will not touch a Yank's Spell-checking knee.

A steer's a cow; and keep your KFC, --- The KFC seems another odd reference here, it seems more for the sake of the rhyme than fitting in with the theme of the poem.
and shove the quarter pounder up yer kilt/ --- I'm totally lost here, is the '/' a typo? And I'm not sure of the type of poem this is and it's structure, but I was expecting another 'ish' rhyme to end this line.
I'd rather leave the Yankee Spelling be.
I will not ever write Americee.

I do really like it, it has a simple yet effective northern British kind of humour feel about it. At the start after the first reference to 'spelling' I thought it was going to cover actual spelling differences like 'grey/gray' and 'humour/humor' as opposed to the use of different words to describe the same thing. Although technically I suppose it still is a difference in spelling but I did find the spelling reference somewhat slightly misleading.

Cheers for the read, I really enjoyed it. 
Humour without 'u' just wouldn't be right.

Mark