Condensation

[scarlettehale]

Hi there,
The poem has some high notes, particularly in some of your word choice, but beyond that the imagery and the language could be strengthened to better guide the reader through the emotions and narration of the poem.

Love evolves, in time and space;this seems cliche to me, the idea of love evolving, relating it to the depths of time and space. perhaps try to dig deeper and understand specifically how love "evolves" for the speaker, or how it evolved in this specific instance. Is it turbulent? is it slow and steady? is it nuanced or overt? did it begin as love and continue to grow or did it begin as something else?
And bed becomes your favourite place
And hours pass within mere minutes.again the passage of time imagery: hours passing like minutes can be over used. try to develop this idea, maybe explain how quickly time passes without explicitly saying it. allow the reader to understand and care why this is important.
Sheets so stained, soiled linen,the imagery of soiled linen and the way those two words sound together is nice, It also subverts the syrupy love poem imagery typically used. Id be interested in seeing this type of imagery more readily

Tussles in the thick blackness,
Stripped, you lie, upon the mattress.
Windows, murky, thick with mist,
Canvas, for life; in undying inkThis entire stanza seems out of place for me in the poem. other than maybe being a overly nuanced love scene? Words like tussels, stripped, undying ink, those are interesting to me.

You finger the curves of a capital B.
Quickly, on to the delicate E.
No rush now, just two letters left.At first I thought you were signing the letter but a B in ASL has no curve, so I am confused by the narrative. This seems like the pinnacle point of the poem for the speaker and its falling flat for me mostly because of the simple language. It may help to use more raw, honest language that honors this "evolved love" the speaker has for Beth
Forever and always, I love you Beth.I get the sentiment of this last line but it reads weak because it is so cliched or juvenile. Allow the entire poem to speak about the infinite love for this person, don't explicitly remind us at the end.

I am sincerely interested in understanding why this love is a unique love, why do i care that the speaker loves this person? guide me there.

Thank you for sharing and good luck
-SH