05-15-2015, 04:02 PM
i like it and see it being related to nepal. [though it may not be] a couple of things from me to consider, or not
(05-13-2015, 03:44 PM)Tiger the Lion Wrote: Exposed at Altitude 1.1 (Todd, Dale)
Lungs gasp; cliche, in such a short piece they stick out all the more, a suggestion would be more brevity.
Lungs
learning limitations
learning their limitations.
Earthquakes sound like questions i think this line is superb
made of thin air. a suggestion would be [in the air] or [on the air] or something along those lines
Stop asking me to open wider, i'm struggling at this. makes me think of dentist though i keep connecting it to lungs and altitude thinking i missed something.
I'm terrified already.