Spiders On Drugs

[Magpie]

Is this right?

Giving innocent spiders drugs.
Studying their subsequent webs of woe. When a poem uses dramatic phrasing I think it needs an element of style (rhyme, meter, even visually striking free verse) to back it up, or it just seems clunky and pretentious, like Star Wars prequel dialogue. That sounds much harsher than I intended it to be. It's really just a passing thought
Poor little minds blown to pieces.
Who speaks up for the spiders?
Don't spiders have rights?

We must put a stop to this cruelty.
We must stand and...

Wow!!! Look what the little fella on LSD did. I really, really, really hate it when people use more than one exclamation or question mark to end a sentence. To me it looks so damned scruffy and illiterate. But I'm so anally retentive The Little Book of Calm couldn't fit up my arse, so feel free to ignore me
Hey, where can I get me some of that stuff.

Making Spiders Take Drugs.
It's Sick & It's Cruel has possible potential, it's harmless fun

A sweet comic poem, which makes me think of Spike Milligan for some reason. (Probably the abstract humour.) I enjoyed it a lot, and I think it reads almost as well without the visual accompaniment, which is always a good sign (Perhaps, though, you could do a Stevie Smith and produce a doodle to accompany your poem.)

Thanks Jack, you are totally right in every aspect and I give you permission to sound as harsh as you want. I'm a bit annoyed at myself and it's not the first time I've done something similar. To be honest, after I edited the pic with photoshop by putting the castle in I was so happy with it and the child in me wanted to post it as soon as possible and subsequently the poem became more of an after thought without the thought. Like I said it's not the first time I've done something like this, so I am glad that you were straight with me and although this is in miscellaneous I will go away and write the text again.

I suppose in some ways it was worth it for your "Star Wars prequel dialogue" comparison which is spot on accurate and also hilarious... It has actually given me an idea which I will try my best not to bring to fruition, but I can't make any promises.

Cheers for the crit it was perfect,

Mark

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Mexican spiders seem to have all the fun.
At least the spider in question didn't go and steal a quote from William Blake to use for the title of a book about his trip in which he uses lots of highbrow art and philosophy references as comparisons to what he experienced, but then eventually many years later pondered deeply the question, "Why are precious stones precious?"
Or did he?