05-11-2015, 09:12 AM
Hello again. You guys were so great at helping me with my last personal poem that I thought I would ask for critique on another. 
Love evolves, in time and space;
And bed becomes your favourite place
And hours pass within mere minutes.
Sheets so stained, soiled linen,
Tussles in the thick blackness,
Stripped, you lie, upon the mattress.
Windows, murky, thick with mist,
Canvas, for life; in undying ink
You finger the curves of a capital B.
Quickly, on to the delicate E.
No rush now, just two letters left.
Forever and always, I love you Beth.
Love evolves, in time and space;
And bed becomes your favourite place
And hours pass within mere minutes.
Sheets so stained, soiled linen,
Tussles in the thick blackness,
Stripped, you lie, upon the mattress.
Windows, murky, thick with mist,
Canvas, for life; in undying ink
You finger the curves of a capital B.
Quickly, on to the delicate E.
No rush now, just two letters left.
Forever and always, I love you Beth.