Baby of the dawn

[Erthona]

Thank you for explaining what you are attempting to say. It lets me clarify. For me at least, and I'll just use the one items, "thorn" has nothing of these qualities of these qualities, so there is little chance that they will simply guess them. You as the writer must somehow make that connection for me. It would be the same if I said " baby girl the cow inside of you must be satisfied before you can walk." How is the person reading suppose to know what qualities the writer has assigned to the "cow" when there is nothing in the rest of the poem indicates the answer. There is an old adage about writing poetry which was often quoted in my direction when I was younger and not quite so often now, it goes, "if you have to explain what your poem means, then it has failed". It is a difficult thing to learn, to learn when you said enough, but not too much. Writers struggle with this all their lives, so this is not unique. Somehow in the poem you must let the reader know that thorn=secrets. It does not have to be blatant. It could be something like "families are rose bushes, their thorns hold their darkness/shame so you only see their triumphant flowers." This then gives you a context where thorn makes some kind of sense (I'm am not suggesting you use my example as it is very clumsy and only an example).

Dale