Last Tango in Wonderland 1.1

[Todd]

Last Tango in Wonderland (1st edit - Dale/entwife/Todd)

I saw the pictures
from your sister’s wedding;
you in that slit red dress
like you could tango standing still.
 
I could hear the music;

you were looking up at him
with eyes I’ve never seen.

Paul, I guess for me it all depends on what you're attempting to leave the reader with. It's your use of white space and the stand alone line that determines this.

In the current configuration, here's what I walk away with. The speaker sees a picture of someone their infatuated by. They are so into this moment that they can here the music that they associate with the dress she's wearing. They then notice that the attention is focused on another man with a look that implies there's more than a spark between them.

If you want to emphasis the fantasy I think your standalone line is correctly placed. 

If instead you want to show the moment of cold water recognition when the speaker realizes that his affection is not returned than you'll want to isolate the last line from the rest of the poem.

So this isn't a right or wrong. Its a matter of what you are trying to emphasize.

Best,

Todd