Last Tango in Wonderland 1.1

[Todd]

I love short poems. I know we don't require critique here, but leave me share some thoughts with you.

Last Tango in Wonderland

 
I saw the pictures from your sister’s wedding;--I would consider breaking this line on pictures. I think both pictures and wedding would make good end words in the poem
you in that slit red dress--Great wording
like you could tango standing still.
 
You were looking up at him
with eyes I’ve never seen.
 
I could hear the music.

The problem for me is I think you're ending on the wrong line. I think your emotional power comes from a different place. I'm going to shift this slightly for your consideration. I'll keep to your basic form.


 

I saw the pictures 
from your sister’s wedding;
you in that slit red dress
like you could tango standing still.
 
I could hear the music.
You were looking up at him

with eyes I've never seen.
 
~~~

Just my thoughts,

Todd