communion

[Todd]

Hi Anne,

Here are some comments for you:

COMMUNION

The boat I’m in now, rocks--You may not need "I'm in now" the context fills that information in for us on L3 and L4 
gently in the middle of Little Traverse Bay.
With the midday sun in my eyes,--I think you could possibly cut this line and go to the observation without the qualifier. I don't know if it's that important to set up why the kayaks remind the speaker of someone else.
red kayaks on the shore remind me of--Not a big fan of this line break.  Consider dropping of down a line.
roses in planter boxes
on the church porch earlier.

After swallowing the bread dipped in wine,
I had knelt at the altar and prayed.--Not that its critical to the poem, but this manner of posture and distributing the sacrament would lead me to Anglican/Episcopalian
Tears came for no clear reason.--for no clear reason is a bit too telling, stay with the action.
I had hoped they washed away--I guess it depends on what the speaker believes here, but tears would not technically wash away sin though they could be a sign of inward repentance. The blood in the symbol of the wine (or the transubstantiation depending on the view the speaker holds) is the source of washing away.
my morning sin of eating
one vacation donut.--Just an aside, this seems a pretty minor thing for an adult to have angst about. My mother when she was 7 in a Catholic school brought meat on Good Friday and was punished. To atone she put a twinkie on the alter figuring God would forgive her because she gave up her favorite food. I mention this to say this seems too minor for an adult but believable for a child.

I put on my sunglasses
and distinguish the far-off sightseer bikers
from the diehard cyclists,
the Fudgies with Santa tummies
from the ones with chiseled waists and thighs.
A glance down at my own tummy--while I sort of enjoy your phrasing with Fudgies, I wonder if this entire donut thing was to segue through here, and when I take this back to your title I can't see how this strophe fits in with your theme.

in a one-piece swimsuit, takes me back
twenty-some years, to two pregnancies.
As my body plumped up
I had viewed it as beautiful.  Now,
I try to accept what age has done
to the shape of my hips and waist.--This could be all condensed. Your passing on a lot of information, but it seems to be only working on that level. I'd like to see more figurative language and layering.

A wave laps into the boat--If some of this strophe were moved up to follow the donut one you could cut the bicyclists and blend concepts between the swimsuit strophe and this one. 
drenching a home decorating magazine
as if the water overheard the minister’s lesson
and was reiterating it.--don't think you need this line 
A gorgeous house on the outside
can still hold mold on the inside. -- Matthew 23 reference whitewashed tombs full of dead mens' bones. 

I understand the metaphor
but am confused if narcissism or low self-esteem
made me believe the sermon was written about myself.--I don't think you need to lead here with these last three lines, trust the reader.
The next wave rocks the boat,
slaps me in the face as if to say,
“What’s your problem?”

The wine-dipped bread was a reminder--maybe just sacrament instead of wine-dipped bread. It would also have some consonance with sacrifice below 
of the greatest sacrifice and loss
and to be grateful for so many miracles.--There is a part of me that says that this is still way too leading. I'd consider simply saying: "I consider the sacrament,/and look outward..."
I look outward at the deep-rooted shoreline trees,
fish weaving through transparency, sunlight in the blue,
the kingdom, the power, the glory.--These last three lines especially are very nice. You seem to slide away from the message and settle into a doxology. They are your most poetic lines.

I hope some of this will be helpful to you.

Best,

Todd