04-28-2015, 10:59 PM
Thanks for the feedback, Psyve!
It's not meant to be precisely that -- the speaker is not so much afraid of the dark, as he is afraid of sleep.
I happen to like the construction of that sentence: "sun lamp" contrasts with its counterpart in the fourth stanza, "cold moonlight", and I think the innocent tone of the line subtly highlights the childish nature of the speaker's fear. I'll mull over your point, though.
And as for the title change, I heartily agree that it should be changed -- it's not that it refers to something else (the evening is the night), but it refers to that same thing in a different way ("evening" implies something less sinister and more luscious than the singular term "night"; so vespertine to, well, nocturnal), is what I think you were saying. Anyway, I'll change it, though maybe not to "Nocturnal", since it connotes something a bit too technical for the poem, and for now, I'll keep the current title on the post and thread, if only because I LOVE the sound and sensual feel of the word (VESPERTINE VESPERTINE VESPERTINE -- that, and Bjork, and because Eva Green played a character named Vesper once).
Again, thanks for the feedback!
It's not meant to be precisely that -- the speaker is not so much afraid of the dark, as he is afraid of sleep.
I happen to like the construction of that sentence: "sun lamp" contrasts with its counterpart in the fourth stanza, "cold moonlight", and I think the innocent tone of the line subtly highlights the childish nature of the speaker's fear. I'll mull over your point, though.
And as for the title change, I heartily agree that it should be changed -- it's not that it refers to something else (the evening is the night), but it refers to that same thing in a different way ("evening" implies something less sinister and more luscious than the singular term "night"; so vespertine to, well, nocturnal), is what I think you were saying. Anyway, I'll change it, though maybe not to "Nocturnal", since it connotes something a bit too technical for the poem, and for now, I'll keep the current title on the post and thread, if only because I LOVE the sound and sensual feel of the word (VESPERTINE VESPERTINE VESPERTINE -- that, and Bjork, and because Eva Green played a character named Vesper once).
Again, thanks for the feedback!