Quaking Aspen

[HalfOpenArms]

Brownie,

I think this was mostly a very good effort. Most of your images are consistent and vivid. Your rhyming is mostly very natural, except where noted in S6. Your meter, however, is not, and is more often "off" than "on." Some of your lines are 1-2 syllables too long, which isn't too difficult to fix. Others are simply clunky, metrically speaking ("Through seasons of comedy and tragedy in vain"), which is more difficult to fix. I think the poem would benefit greatly if you were to punctuate correctly. Also, I don't think S5 is vital to the poem, and if I were you, I would omit it. I may have gotten a bit carried away with my critique, since we are in Mild. But if I didn't enjoy your poem, I wouldn't have spent so much time critiquing it, so take it as a compliment!

[Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGB8zJNRpRI]

Aspen in the Fall of Summer's wane ( I suggest you set off "in the Fall of Summer's wane" with commas.)
Turn their leaves like the pages of life (Your meter's a bit wonky here.)
Through seasons of comedy and tragedy in vain (Here, too.)
As chapters fill with harmony and strife (Period.)

But, beauty permeates their words none the less (Omit the comma after "but.")
As the wind rustles through their fires of gold (Are the leaves pages or fires? Be consistent with your metaphors.)
Bringing the song of the easing stress (You use the definite article "the" as if I've already been introduced to this song. I haven't, so use "a" instead. Also, what is a song of easing stress? Do you mean a song that eases stress?)
And tides of peace roll in to take hold

Their heartwood easily with time grows soft (Heartwood is a very, very good word.
As their eyes gently age with each passing year (Change "as" to "and." You seem to use "as" as a crutch, even where "and" would do.)
Their gaze ever fixed skyward aloft (I think this is redundant.)
Reveling in their journey of faith without fear (Good alliteration.)

These golden haired children of the West well abide (Should "golden haired" be hyphenated?)
With growth from the roots of one single seed (All of the aspens grew out of a single seed?)
Together they shine like crowns upon a hillside (Good imagery.)
And commune as one in their time of need (This is the strongest stanza of the poem, in my opinion. But I'm not quite sure how aspens would "commune as one in there time of need." What is their time of need, anyway? Winter? Clarify.)

If there is one lesson that the aspen teach well
It's don't hesitate to fall humbly to the ground ("It's don't" is pretty awkward, not to mention grammatically incorrect.)
Don't cling to treetops, come down for a spell
And let your soul be nourished with Love all around (Honestly, I think the poem could do without this stanza. It's mostly trite. "Soul" and "love" are buzzwords, and immediately make me skeptical of the poems in which they appear.)

Let your quaking be still for a while and wait (Nice alliteration. I like this line. But I'm left wondering--can quaking be still?)
Rest your worries beneath warm blankets of snow (Isn't this oxymoronic?)
What happens to you is not up for debate (A bit of a forced rhyme, in my opinion.)
For His Springs shall allow your new leaves to grow ("Shall allow" is awkward and pointlessly affected. "Will allow" would suffice.)

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Tried to embed a video. I'll figure it out later