The Wilderness of Your Mind
#2
Many of the rhyming lines feel like filler that haven't been thought out very well. They also give it a bouncy feel that doesn't quite fit the tone of the poem. You could take all of those out. See if anything else comes to mind in their place.
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Messages In This Thread
The Wilderness of Your Mind - by Bananadon - 04-15-2015, 08:35 AM
RE: The Wilderness of Your Mind - by rowens - 04-21-2015, 03:29 AM
RE: The Wilderness of Your Mind - by Brenkin - 04-23-2015, 03:16 AM
RE: The Wilderness of Your Mind - by Bananadon - 04-24-2015, 06:13 AM
RE: The Wilderness of Your Mind - by ajaxthesmall - 05-05-2015, 09:02 AM



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