Unplanned Maintenance edit 0.002 river,wjames

[tectak]

Dickie-bowed down my silent road, I had no idea what "Dickie-bowed" meant until reading your explanation.
staggered streetlights pooled the path.
Mosaic mirrors split each glow in haloed stars;
I knew them all, each a friend that I once had.

I did not see them after dawn,
nor in the dusk until somewhere
a sense of coming darkness brought
their  timely light into my room. You could cut "somewhere", you say where explicitly: in your room. 



One hundred once were burning bright,
I counted them and knew their names; "counted" doesn't seem like something you would to your "friends". It was also sort of implied when you said there was one hundred of them.
but some burned brighter then went out
and gaps appeared where they had been.

Somewhere a plan will surely be This line doesn't say very much. "Somewhere" and "surely" are basically filler, although it obviously sounds wrong without them.
to wait until my road is black You could put a period here. As it is now, it's a pretty damn complex plan.
then after one long, lonely night
I will awake to blinding skies

and all the friends whose light had died
will glow again, lined up to mark
my final path, each proud and piercing
in the gloom…where there will be one other star.

tectak
2015

An interesting piece, I think it's really great.

Thanks wj,
Hearse verse, too many wistful somewheres, you are correct. Only one will survive, the "somewhere a sense " is indicative of the Remote Controler, the light sensor, which turns on (and off) the street lights according to ambient lux levels rather than time. Counting living friends gets easier each year. If you want to party it can be challengingThe rest will be edited and credited.
Best,
tectak