04-16-2015, 12:32 PM
I think I forgot I posted this one, thanks for reminding me Jane. There were some good comments here, I've cut "at the bar", and added "of" before laughs based on the general consensus (and my opinion).
I think if you know shinny is playing unformal pick-up hockey (we don't call it ice hockey in Canada haha!), it's clear its different from them watching the game on tv earlier. That was why I had "at the bar" in there at first though, to further clarify "the game" in it's first context was on tv.
Yes Ella, rubber is a puck, but I just preferred the sound of rubber, and I did sort of like it for as you said the added war contrast.
This was my attempt at writing the most "Canadian" poem I could, without it being stupidly patriotic or anything like that.
I think if you know shinny is playing unformal pick-up hockey (we don't call it ice hockey in Canada haha!), it's clear its different from them watching the game on tv earlier. That was why I had "at the bar" in there at first though, to further clarify "the game" in it's first context was on tv.
Yes Ella, rubber is a puck, but I just preferred the sound of rubber, and I did sort of like it for as you said the added war contrast.
This was my attempt at writing the most "Canadian" poem I could, without it being stupidly patriotic or anything like that.