Turritopsis dohrnii

[heslopian]

Turritopsis dohrnii
jellyfish bloom,
small moons that draw her mind from the shore,
neural stingers shooting blanks, muscle with no memory I like this line because it implies so much with such a small and precise observation. As there's no complex consciousness driving the jellyfish, its muscles don't remember previous exertions. (Tell me if that interpretation is wildly off-base! I'll still think the line is fantastic.)
(she tries)

no electricity, just chemicals
smoothing her beach into glass, Elegant imagery.
wrinkles left for oversize tees and
hospital smocks Reading this poem a second time, I think you're referring to people other than the narrator with the last two lines of this verse. Other people grow old and wrinkle, but the girl never does, like an Annabel Lee figure.

this ocean is a pool
she swirls around,  
a toilet wasting everything, I'm not sure I like "toilet" here; it's too ugly and aggressive a word to fit with the sweet, calm, and elegant images you've been making. The more feminine "toilette", perhaps?
a child splashing

My feedback is purely JMHO. Thank you for the read, jkprry