Blanche -i edit 1 (ellajam, Tiger the Lion)

[LorettaYoung]

Hey Loretta. I watched the movie and thoroughly enjoyed it. I made some notes but I am out for the day. Promise I'll have some coherent thoughts for you by tomorrow.
BTW, her last line was " I've always depended on the kindness of strangers." Much easier to use a variation of depended than appreciated. Plus it's quite different in meaning too. Turns out words are important - who knew?
Paul

Hi Paul, So it seems, every word. And I was especially trying to be aware of your suggestion of Mood; very important; each word, the sound of it; ie; is it a crass or crude protest; Then again; within the sentence alliteration is concerned; I went with crude; he sure was. But the advice both you and ella gave me were so helpful, I think, I hope I addressed them. The reason I wanted something other than mounting fears, was that I am trying to depict a bit o an analysis, a process going on in her head.. That's why I mention no other names; it was hard to let go of the "Tarantula Arms" and much more, but I could NOT dispose of the naked lightbulb. dp hope it sounds better, good idea from ella, a lightbult, the commas, although unnecessary, are there for thought slowdown and emphasis. I'll wait to hear from you before I make any changes on the page. Change L2 but not thrilled, still a bit better. Thanks, I've seen the movie so............many times. Best Loretta

Hi again Paul: I worked on the things you and ella suggested, a lot, and so I will make an edit; knowing I will have to do more work again; and I wait to hear your thoughts on the move. Best Loretta