Late Night Mistake

[Magpie]

Hi there, perhaps I'm going mad (which I'm sure I'm not), but when I read this poem earlier on today it was called something like "Fuck you, Fuck cocaine" so considering the fact that now it's called "Late Night Mistake", which is a somewhat tamer title, I am slightly confused about your intentions. I think that you could have them both as the title "Late Night Mistake - Fuck you, Fuck cocaine" and it kind of makes more sense.

Draw the curtains inward---- 'inward' seems awkward here if it is just there to be paired up with 'wayward' 3 lines down 'close the curtains' would be enough
power off the lights---- this may be a colloquial thing but 'power off' doesn't seem right, unless there is a double meaning
dim your way
wayward to the morning---- I can't quite decide if the double way in 'way wayward' is working. At first read it felt clumsy, but I'm getting used to it now

The sunrises---- space between sun and rises unless you are speaking about a collection of sunrises
as my seratonin despises--- rhyme seems a bit forced here
the fuel of last night---- Is this the 'cocaine' from the original title
I guess I'll try you

1...2...3... ---- I don't understand the purpose of the 1 2 3 count here
C'mon
Come to me
One more
Promise

Please just stop
holding me to the crimes ---- 'crimes of these eyelids' is interesting, I sort of want to know more
of these eyelids that droop---- the 'internal' rhyme with 'droop cooped' works well here
cooped up like the hens
That already call out to
the morning sun---- From my understanding it is roosters that 'call out to the morning sun', although I did google it and hens can crow but seemingly not very well, so this may have to be rethought

Cock-a-doodle-do---- I'm tempted to say cliche
Fuck you---- Tempted again to say cliche

Hi, I'm really struggling to get anything from this poem and I have read it a few times and considered different possibilities. Also from looking back at your previous two poems it is evident that you do put thought into what you are writing which makes me further believe that there is something here I'm just not getting. I can't tell if the awkward phrasing such as "draw the curtains inward" is there because you wanted to use the sonics or if there is another purpose.

I would love to hear your explanation as I am just confused.

Cheers for the read,

Mark