Heaven Scent

Heaven Scent

TimeOut Offline

member

Posts: 26
Threads: 6
Joined: Dec 2014

04-04-2015, 08:38 PM

Wait! Don't fix your line breaks! They are disruptive sure, but they keep the reader involved. IMHO the last line needs the most work. You've drawn us in but drop us off with "cloudy sky". C'mon, this is your chance to hit home. Weak for sure.

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Messages In This Thread

Heaven Scent - by 71degrees - 03-22-2015, 08:27 AM

RE: Heaven Scent - by jkprry - 03-23-2015, 10:25 AM

RE: Heaven Scent - by BW BRINE - 03-24-2015, 01:10 PM

RE: Heaven Scent - by tectak - 03-25-2015, 12:03 AM

RE: Heaven Scent - by TimeOut - 04-04-2015, 08:38 PM

RE: Heaven Scent - by 71degrees - 04-06-2015, 12:48 AM

RE: Heaven Scent - by Jkobrinart - 04-10-2015, 09:55 AM

RE: Heaven Scent - by 71degrees - 04-13-2015, 02:36 AM

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