03-31-2015, 10:46 PM
(03-31-2015, 09:39 AM)just mercedes Wrote: Good immediate glimpse of place and time. 'There are' is a bit passive for me - maybe 'Three willows stand ...' or something like that. Did you mean it's a yellow church with shutters? Or a church with yellow shutters? I like that the sorrow has passed from memory, but the trees are still there. Thank you!JM, I like "either/ or" images. Gives the reader choices.
(03-31-2015, 09:41 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote: Hey 71. The only hiccup for me is that you have 2 adjectives - yellow/shuttered before the proper name of "St. John's". Almost reads as if there might be another St. John's church near Hwy 63 that may or may not be yellow shuttered. Is "St. John's" needed. Reads better to me without it. Also, personal opinion... I would prefer the full word "highway". It reads that way regardless.Doesn't have to be "St. John's"...could be any Saint, I guess
Nice image.
Paul
Also, I only chose the abbreviation (Hwy) to help the line length. Let me play with that a bit.(03-31-2015, 12:00 PM)srijantje Wrote: yes,nice imageNice comment.