Shelf Life (Edit)

[LorettaYoung]

Emotivism

Shelf life is magnificent  
You never know who's gonna to be next -I would break up this line to two: You never know, who will be nest, it could be me But is irrelevant here I think
But it could be me.

(Which makes me "happy")I think this line distracts

Shelf life is as ominous as ill-lit rooms, I would put a comma after as and the rest another line Perhaps more ominous that ill-lit since you speak of tombs later;
and ancient tombs!
With far less walking...I think the dots unnecessary, commas should be enough break for thought
...which keeps me talking. dots distracting as below lines as well 
shelf life
...is as finite
....as the real thing
...and I often dream
of leaving.

-MR-

Hi: Your poem reminds me of a cross between nihilism and existentialism and the metaphor is carried well through the poem. I have written a few suggestions above, although I am certainly NOT an expert, I hope I can be of help. Loretta