Shelf Life (Edit)

[ellajam]

Emotivism

Shelf life is magnificent
You never know who's gonna to be next -
But it could be me.

(Which makes me "happy")

Shelf life is as ominous as ill-lit rooms,
and ancient tombs!
With far less walking...
...which keeps me talking.

Shelf life
...is as finite
....as the real thing
...and I often dream
of leaving.

-MR-

Hi, welcome back. I took the poem as a celebration of our human limited lifespan. It's a view that puzzles many people, at least where i live. I had to look up the title and still am not sure it adds anything but that may just be a lack of comprehension on my part.

The exclamation point seemed odd in the middle of the sentence but made me read the lines with a sense of excitement which I enjoyed. I think you can skip the ellipsis on L8 but I took L7/8 to be less physical activity leading to more thought processing.

In the last five lines I think white space might work better than all those dots.

The rest of it I enjoyed as is. Thanks for posting this and good luck with it.